Wednesday, April 25, 2012

32 Teams, 1 Chandler Jones: Day 4

Chandler Jones' name has appeared all over the draft charts, from the middle of the first round all the way to the end of the fourth round or lower. It seems @ChanJones99 could wind up anywhere, so Lots of Pulp will try to predict his future with all 32 NFL teams leading up to the draft.

Click here to read other posts from the Chandler Jones Series
32 Teams, 1 Chandler Jones: Day 1
32 Teams, 1 Chandler Jones: Day 2
32 Teams, 1 Chandler Jones: Day 3
32 Teams, 1 Chandler Jones: Day 3 Part Deux
32 Teams, 1 Chandler Jones: Day 5

Detroit Lions

Projected draft pick: 23
Projected position: DE
Projected playing time: Primary backup to Avril and Vanden Bosch, 35% of snaps. Grooming for Vanden Bosch's spot.
Projected Stats: 4.5 Sacks
Sack Celebration: The Eminem Waka Waka
Favorite teammate: Doug Hogue
Rookie Hazing task: Picking up the tab on Ndamukong Suh's fines

Pittsburgh Steelers

Projected draft pick: 24
Projected position: DE/OLB
Projected playing time: Backing up Woodley and Harrison, with pass rushing snaps at DE. 30% snaps.
Projected Stats: 3.5 Sacks
Sack Celebration: Shampooing the hair 
Favorite teammate: Ziggy Hood
Rookie Hazing task: Ben Roethlisberger's wingman

Denver Broncos

Projected draft pick: 25
Projected position: DE
Projected playing time: Ultimately beats out Robert Ayers for starting DE opposite Dumervill, 70% snaps
Projected Stats: 7.0 Sacks
Sack Celebration: Jonesing
Favorite teammate: Manny Ramirez (not THAT one)
Rookie Hazing task: Taking over Tim Tebow's pregame prayer service

Houston Texans

Projected draft pick: 26
Projected position: DE/OLB
Projected playing time: 3rd in DE rotation, behind Watt and Smith, with occasional snaps rushing from OLB, 40% snaps
Projected Stats: 4.5 Sacks
Sack Celebration: Space Shuttle Launch
Favorite teammate: Derrell Smith (Also alive!)
Rookie Hazing task: Hamstring Donor

New England Patriots

Projected draft pick: 27
Projected position: DE/OLB
Projected playing time: Starting DE with occasional snaps at OLB, 65% snaps (rotating with Andre Carter and Sean Ellis if they come back)
Projected Stats: 7.5 Sacks
Sack Celebration: Video Cameraman
Favorite teammate: Will Allen, Tony Fiammetta and Steve Gregory
Rookie Hazing task: Rolling around in the dirt with 500 brand new hoodies, then cutting the sleeves off before giving them to Bill Belichick
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