You suck, Nerlens!

The Nerlens Noel special is scheduled for 7:30 tonight on ESPNU, with the Announcement projected at around 8:45, according to Brent Axe. That's too late to get a legitimate reaction piece up, so we're going to react before the decision is actually made. Just to hedge our bets, we're posting a positive and a negative reaction, since these 18-year-old kids can be somewhat unpredictable. Click here to read the other side.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

$50K won't even last through one game of cards in the NBA

You've made a huge mistake, Nerlens. Clearly you would rather take a big bag of cash from a slimeball like Calipari than have a shot at winning a national title. You're not about family, or winning, or anything but money. You'll never win anything.

-Your High Top Fade is the dumbest thing we've ever seen. What is this 1993? Even DJ Jazzy Jeff thinks you need a haircut.



-Good for you ... you can block shots from 5-foot-8 white kids in Massachusetts. That's some stiff competition. We can't wait to watch you get dunked on during your first game on ESPN.

Think this kid compares to Big East talent?

-Likewise, anyone can score in transition in high school. Did you even have offensive sets? You might need to develop this thing called a post game, if you ever want to make it at this level.

-We never wanted you anyway. You're just a boy, while DeJuan Coleman is a man. He will eat you alive in the NCAA Tournament ... that is, if you even make it there with the mercenaries on that team.

Come at me, bro

-Your Twitter feed is so annoying. Pretending like you're going to make a "shocking" announcement and then doing exactly what everyone thought you'd do. Plus, we know it's your birthday, since you kept reminding us 10 minutes before just so we would all wish you a happy birthday. Let's start a new hashtag. #ThingsIdRatherDoThanWishNerlensHappyBirthday

Note: If Nerlens picks SU tonight, please disregard this post. And click here to read Welcome to Syracuse, Nerlens, instead.  Pin It Now!