Friday, March 30, 2012

Syracuse Lottery Wish List

In case you haven't heard, because you're blocking out the world in wake of SU not being in the final four, the Mega Millions Jackpot is pretty Mega right now. At the time of this writing, it's up to $640 million and will potentially rise even more.

So let's discuss what we good SU fans would use that money for ... other than strippers and cocaine ... I mean ... let's move on.

Syracuse Lottery Wishlist

5. A one-way ticket for Verne Lundquist and Aaron Craft to Nairobi. Then we'll pay to shut the airport down indefinitely and build a wall around their encampment. See how much you two love each other now!

4. Personal tutors for all the "student athletes" at SU. We're not talking sophomore bio majors here either. We're getting professors from every major school in the country to quit their jobs and do the athletes work mentor the athletes in their academic affairs.

3. A football facilities upgrade!!!! But not just any upgrade. This new dome, crafted in the likeness of Doc Gross' head, will feature ceilings that are 25 stories high for our future great punters, wide doorways for HCDM's mammoth thighs, and all the $44 bottles of perfume a young athlete could ever want.

2. SUperFan upgrades: New synthetic knees for the Dome Ranger. A shiny new Orange Blazer for Old Orange Blazer Guy. A full pure cotton towel suit for towel guy. Season tickets for life for Scoop's Dad. Orange Halos for everyone that sits in 311 Heaven. Some new sweaters for Neil Gold. And better covers for the cups for all of us, so THIS never happens again.

1. Painting Georgetown's entire campus, from the roads, to the trees, to the buildings and the grass, completely, obnoxiously Orange. Then we will purchase every supermarket within reasonable and unreasonable driving distance and turn it into a Syracuse-themed TopS Supermarket. And we will gladly pay the ticket that comes with peeing all over every sacred inch of that campus.

What would you do with $640 million? Let us know in the comments... Pin It Now!

Best and Worst Moments from the Best and Worst Season - No. 4

Editor's note: The wounds are still fresh, but we're recapping one of the most memorable seasons in SU Basketball history. It was the best of times ... it was the worst of times. So in that spirit, we'll count down the Top 5 Best and Worst moments in the most up-and-down season any of us can ever remember. 

More from the Best and Worst Moments Series
Best and Worst Moment #5
Best and Worst Moment #3
Best and Worst Moment #2
Best and Worst Moment #1

Worst Moment #4
January 21, 2012 - Notre Dame 67, Syracuse 58

God I hate these, f#ckers

It started as a routine Saturday. Get ready for another Syracuse game that would continue to prove the haters wrong and show we could win on the road. Then, a rumor on Twitter turned into pure, unadulterated chaos and hysteria.

First: Handshake specialist and mental warrior Mookie Jones left the team. Next: Fab Melo was labeled everything from the leader of a cheating ring to a student lazier than Nancy Cantor's hairdresser. One thing was clear though, after a few hours of panic; el Bastardo Grande wasn't on the plane to South Bend. Everything goes downhill from there.

Notre Dame decides to play a brand of basketball that should be outlawed. Pass, pass, pass, until one on the shot clock, and throw up a prayer. Of course they go in on this night. They pass on 3-on-1 breaks and pull the ball out to drain the clock.

Chia Pet 2.0 tears up the SU zone and grabs rebound after rebound with Fab Melo absent. To make matters worse, the crowd rushes the court and all the talking heads commence in a media hate-fest, led by a grinning Digger Phelps.

It seems like they might have a point though. It looks like there's no way this team can win without Fab ...


Best Moment #4
February 4, 2012 - Syracuse 95, St. John's 70

All your house is belong to us

Days before Syracuse "traveled" to its home away from home at Madison Square Garden, word began leaking that Fab Melo would be back. It was a welcome sight after three tough games that included SU's first loss and a controversial near loss against West Virginia. Something was missing, and Fab was clearly it.

So when the Big Guy came back against St. John's, it was no surprise the Orange came out firing on all cylinders. It was poetic that a Melo dunk put SU ahead 8-7 for the first time in the game - a lead that would never be relinquished - as they ran up the score against the Johnnies in their "home" building.

Five players in double figures. Winning the rebound battle 42-31. Five blocked shots. Twenty-three assists on 39 field goals. Jim Boeheim tying Dean Smith on the all-time wins list. A couple of signature Dion Waiters fast-break dunks. An even more eye-popping dunk from a child named MCW. It was the type of performance that led you to call your friend to look up RV prices to New Orleans. No joke.

Oh, and it was a reminder to SJU fans who runs NYC. As always, Dion summed it up best on Twitter ...

Blatantly stolen from

And in case there was any doubt. Let's let YouTube explain who's house this is? Make sure to keep your eye on Scoop after the dunk. We'll miss you, Antonio.

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Thursday, March 29, 2012

Best and Worst Moments from the Best and Worst Season - No. 5

Editor's note: The wounds are still fresh, but we're recapping one of the most memorable seasons in SU Basketball history. It was the best of times ... it was the worst of times. So in that spirit, we'll count down the Top 5 Best and Worst moments in the most up-and-down season any of us can ever remember. 

More from the Best and Worst Moments Series
Best and Worst Moment #4
Best and Worst Moment #3
Best and Worst Moment #2
Best and Worst Moment #1

Best Moment #5
February 25, 2012 - Syracuse 71, UConn 69

You tell 'em, King Jaffy Jo

Let's set the scene here. Saturday night. College Gameday in the house. Syracuse had never beaten hated rival UConn at Gampel Pavilion. Never.

Wile some of the buzz fizzled a little after the dark lord Calhoun would not be gracing us with his presence (despite being rumored otherwise), it built back up as the UConn crowd assembled at Gameday, painted rocks, and spelled their school name 65 times while Hubert Davis screamed and laughed questioning Syracuse's go-to-guy.

The Orange came out ready to slaughter the Huskies as if they were the runts of Michael Vick's litter (still too soon?). Of course it wasn't going to be that easy. Not in this building. Yet behind a Fab Melo putback, some questionable calls, and some OUTSTANDING game-winning defense, the Orange swept the regular season series against UConn. Oh, and they wrapped up a second outright Big East crown in the last three years. 

Worst Moment #5
March 15, 2012 - UNC Asheville 34, Syracuse 30 (Half)

We know, Jim. The refs were terrible. What else is new?

The haters were already out in full force as SU entered the 2012 tournament. With Fab Melo being declared ineligible leading up to the Orange's first round game, many experts predicted an early exit for the No. 1 seed. But no one - not even Doug Gottlieb - thought Syracuse would be challenged by the 16th-seeded UNC Asheville. 

But alas, here we were, on the verge of becoming the answer to a trivia question (again). Asheville connected on five 3-pointers in the first half, while SU inexplicably shot 13 (and made just one) from behind the arc against a starting lineup that featured no one taller than 6-foot-4. 

All our dreams of a Final Four run went completely out the window that day. If you struggle to beat UNC Asheville, how would you ever stand a chance against K-State, Wisconsin and Ohio State? 

Even though the Orange came back to win this game - thanks to some help from the officials on a ball that clearly went off Brandon Triche's hands and out of bounds (though it should have been a foul) and a questionable (though correct call, according to the rules) lane violation - this game just gave more fuel to the mass of Syracuse haters and made us all question how far this team could go. 

It was a down moment, but SU would recover. What else is new?

Gripes of Wrath - by Jim Boeheim

Click Here to read the entire Top 5 Best and Worst Moments Series
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Wednesday, March 28, 2012


You may have heard today that there is a #LegitimateChance Nerlens Noel may decide to join John Calipari and his band of freshman phenoms in Kentucky. That nugget came courtesy of John Rothstein of CBS Sports this morning.

There's a #LegitimateChance
Noel's fade won't fit in Manley
Nation of Orange quickly passed on reports from and Adam Zagoria confirming that Noel has in fact, not made a decision, and there is no timeframe for him to do so.

But that got us to thinking. What other things are legitimately possible in this great world of ours? Let's discuss ...

-There's a #LegitimateChance Bernie Fine will buy another house in Syracuse after he sells this one.

-There's a #LegitimateChance Dion Waiters changes his mind, does not sign an agent, but transfers to Villanova so he can be closer to Philly. Did you know he's from Philly?

-There's a #LegitimateChance SU basketball players will stop making spelling mistakes and prove that in the wake of Fab Melo's departure, Syracuse athletes are, in fact, literate.

-There's a #LegitimateChance Scoop Jardine will be drafted ahead of Austin Rivers. Experience baby. You can't teach it. Or can you? You're not born with it? Whatever. F-You.

Join in on the fun with the #LegitimateChance hashtag on Twitter. Or give us your best in the comments. Pin It Now!

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Unstoppable...Dion Waiters is.

In honor of Dion going pro, let's bring back an old favorite ...

The Eli Manning Citizen Eco-Drive watch commercials used to make everyone laugh. That is, until he won a Super Bowl.

We have a feeling no one will be laughing at the new Eco-Drive commercial. If you do, Jimmy B will find you to tell you that you're wrong.

For more videos from Lots of Pulp Studios, click here.

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Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Boston Road Trip: Live Blog

My cubicle wall is ready for the trip. Counting down the hours ...

Will be leaving work at 5:30 to pick up @cusepulpdesoto in DC, then it's off to Boston. Stay tuned for updates from our trip as we go. In the meantime, feel free to snoop around the blog.


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Monday, March 19, 2012

Gripes of Wrath - by Jim Boeheim

In case you missed it, before their second game, Syracuse coach Jim Boehiem had a message for the media:

"Reggie Miller, you don't know your business."

Reggie, Jim Boeheim would like you to know the following:
a) You're on his shit list
b) You don't know anything about college basketball and haven't watched a game.
c) You don't know shit about him, or his slaying ability.
d) Your game didn't impress him in the slightest bit.

You'd like to see this played out in GIFs?


First up: Jimmy deciding whether or not to pop off:

Yea, I'm going after you. It's decided

Hey Reggie, hold that while I teach you how to dougie:

Ding. Done. I'm finished. Laugh at that guy

Damn, I crack myself up
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Wednesday, March 14, 2012


There's a pretty good hashtag going on Twitter right now. #OrangeOptimism is strong. This is my contribution. Enjoy.

Related Post - The Five Stages of Fab Grief

Here are some other #OrangeOptimists. Join the movement HERE. And vote in our poll to the left to tell us how #OrangeOptimistic you really are.

We have senior leadership in Kris and Scoop and the BE 6th man of the year. 

 we are still in this! The goals are the same, Let's get this done! 

Kevin Garnett comments on Syracuse's chances in the NCAA tournament: 

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Tuesday, March 13, 2012

The Five Stages of Fab Grief

If you're reading this post, you've probably already been through most, if not all of these stages. I'm probably somewhere between depression and acceptance, and I'm hoping this will help me get there sooner rather than later. Not sure if it's working yet ...

RELATED POST - #OrangeOptimism

1. Denial
"No way Fab is out. We already dealt with that sh*t. You're full of it, d-bag UNC fan at work. Eat a d*ck."

Unfortunately this was a pretty quick stage, since basically reported the Fab suspension. Hard to argue with that when it's more or less an official statement from the start. Cue stage two.

2. Anger
"F#CK F#CK F#UCK F#UCK. I hate you Fab! You're selfish! I hate you Syracuse for putting me through this! F#CK academic standards! F#CK the world!

Saw a lot of this going around on Twitter. I was responsible for a decent amount myself. It makes sense. You feel like Fab hurt you personally, and in a way he did. All your dreams of going to New Orleans for a glorious weekend are out the window. Damnit.

3. Bargaining
"If Christmas can play 25 solid minutes, we could beat Ashville and maybe Kansas State. Maybe we can get lucky against Vandy and maybe Ohio State gets knocked out before the elite eight. If we can just win a few games maybe we'll get lucky. Just win a few games please. We need you Christmas!!!"

I went through this one at about 3 p.m. Started thinking of how matchups might be able to fall perfectly to get SU to the final four. It's a lost cause though. We're destined to play all the top teams with our luck this year.

4. Depression
"I should just sell my tickets to Boston. Why even bother making the trip? Why does this happen every time we're good? How does this keep happening to meeeeeeee???? I don't want to f#cking talk to anyone. f#ck everything.

Guessing a lot of you are still in this stage. It's a dark place. Try to make it out soon. This might help (H/T @zamalkany) ...

5. Acceptance
"We're gonna just battle on with the guys we have and go as far as we can. Every win is a blessing, and let's just enjoy this for as long as it goes. All the pressure is off, and we're the underdogs. Let's embrace it."

I think I'm getting to this stage. Maybe I'm just willing it to be true. All I can say is I still have Syracuse winning the championship in my bracket. Maybe that's just crazy, but I love this team too much to give up on them. I'm going to enjoy every second we have left with them and hope I still get to see something special.

Related Posts
#FabMeloRumors - Fab Himself Clears Things Up
How Fab Became a Block Machine
Baller's Backups - Fab Melo
How Chipotle Turned Fab into a Skinny Star
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Rise and Fire! The Story of Gus Johnson's Ascent and Breakup with CBS Sports

By now, you have to know the unfortunate news.

This will be the first NCAA tournament in recent memory without epic, screaming, Gus Johnson calls.

CBS and Gus had quite a ride:

For a best of, go to YouTube. I couldn't bear posting a video with that game with the "from the parking lot" call.

No more Rise and Fire! No more For the WINNNNNN! No more OOOO WHAT A GAME!

If you're wondering why I'm yelling these at you, go to this website. Click on all of your favorite Gus Johnson sayings, begin crawling, curl up in the fetal position, comfort yourself with the PURREEE call, and then return to whatever you were doing before.

So, you say, what happened to Gus Johnson? Where will he be this March?

There is an answer to this question. Gus is taking his talents to the scripted world of television.

If it's not going to be March Madness, going to SVU is the best thing Gus could do. (H/T Andrew DiSalvo for the video).

"The charge is murder in the first degree. HERE comes the pain! Guilty. Count it!" Pin It Now!

Sunday, March 11, 2012

A Tale of Two GIFs - Big East Tournament

Let's take one last look back at the Big East Tournament before getting fully prepared for the Big Dance.

The two days in NYC were not exactly how Syracuse fans drew it up. Instead of some serious analysis, we'll happily take the 1 seed and just show a looping reaction to the last two games.

Click Here to check out previous GIFs

Win over UConn means, Happy Chancy Nancy with an awkward shake + fist pump!

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Thursday, March 8, 2012

Relax with some SU slow jams

The Big East Tourney is about to get started for the Orange. You might be on edge because it's hard to beat anyone three times, let alone UConn. But don't worry SU fan ... we have the medicine for you right here.

Chill, bro, and listen to some slow jams ...

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Wednesday, March 7, 2012

The Battle for the DePaul BET Game

There was talk on Twitter about calling the opening 12 p.m. game of the Big East Tournament "The DePaul Game."

Fitting title. Always funny, yet somewhat sad to see DePaul battle and eventually lose every opening Tuesday. Despite being disappointing, it is a game named after DePaul, which has to be somewhat of an honor for the program.

But in a few years, DePaul may have some serious competition for "The DePaul Game."

I present to you:
                      "High Noon: The Battle for Inferiority"

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Beware the dreaded nonuple bye

Via SmokingMusket
You've heard about all the changes coming for the Big East in the next few years. Who knows what this conference will look like even a week from now, let alone three years from now? But based on the current teams that are expected to be in the fold by 2015, we were able to project what the Big East Tournament field might look like if it happened today.

First, to the standings ...
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Tuesday, March 6, 2012

High or Not?

Is this the next logo in the ever-changing series?
By now, you've heard the earth-shattering news that Syracuse basketball players may have smoked weed, and then played basketball. A favorite activity for many college students, athletes or not.

Sure, there's the issue of Syracuse not following it's own policy. And there's the issue that the NCAA says "Make your own rules if you want. Follow them. If you don't we'll come punish you." They should probably just have their own policy.

Rules for cream cheese on bagels? Absolutely.

Policy on enforcing drug use by athletes? Eh, too complicated.

Since Syracuse is the only school in the entire NCAA that has players who use recreational drugs, and it is the only school that does not punish these players, we've dug deep into photo archives in an investigative piece of our own.

High or Not? The past decade of potentially stoned SU Basketball Players

Jostling playfully for a candid photo, or  
giggling hysterically at Mookie Watkins cause his eyes are even droopier after some bong rip exercises.

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