Wednesday, September 28, 2011

If Toledo ruled the world ...

By now we all know Toledo didn't get its way in trying to overturn the controversial loss to the Orange from Saturday. In the end, a loss is a loss, no matter how unfair it may or may not have been. But that got us thinking about what the world would be like if Toledo was able to change the past ...

Signing of the Declaration of Independence
Our forefathers stood around a table to sign the declaration of independence but it wasn't clear whether or not Thomas Jefferson used the proper quill to sign. The declaration, after being signed by all the colonies, was declared. Yet, because of the disputed signature, the document is torn up a day later. King George stomps out all American pride. No more NFL. Just soccer.

Pearl Harbor
The Japanese were supposed to attack Pearl Harbor following a formal declaration of war on the morning of December 7, 1941. That declaration came moments after the bombs started falling in Hawaii. Seeing that the war was not official yet, the United States decided the attack didn't count. America remained neutral during the war and the Japanese and Germans took over most of the world before getting bored.

Just kidding ... nothing happened

Moon Landing
"That's one small step for man, one giant leap for..." Oh wait. Lets go to the videotape. Is that planted US flag moving in the background? There's no wind on the moon! Conspiracy theories mount and instead of crushing them, Neil Armstrong crumbles under immense pressure to believe the hype, despite being on the moon, and claims it was staged. The US gets out of all space oriented travel, does not even develop satellites. Russia rules the world. No GoogleEarth.

Thank God this flag is here to hold me up in this wind storm

This is why sports have rules. If they didn't, you'd be speaking a bastardized version of German, Russian and Japanese, and the only English words you knew would be knickers and bollocks. Pin It Now!

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