Friday, May 25, 2012

Memorial Day Backup Plans

Never again with the yellow shoes
If you're a Syracuse lacrosse fan, your Memorial Day plans used to be set in stone. Travel to the lacrosse Final Four, tailgate heavily, and watch the Orange compete for the sport's ultimate prize. Qualifying for 22-straight championship weekends made it pretty standard. Sure, there was the first-round exit in 2005, then a lost season in 2007, but back-to-back titles in '08 and '09 made us think things were back to normal.

Unfortunately this might be the new normal.

The fact is, parody seems to have finally arrived. This is the third-consecutive year the Orange has failed to play on Memorial Day weekend. And for the first time since 1975 (H/T @beneg92 for that tidbit), Syracuse, Johns Hopkins and Virginia are all firing up the grills at home for the holiday. Notre Dame, Loyola, Maryland and Duke in the Final Four? Shoot me in the face.

And women's lacrosse? Don't get me started. Why can't women hit other women just like men can hit men? Play by the same rules as men's lacrosse or don't call it lacrosse. I refuse to watch women's "stick and net ball," even if Syracuse is involved. Sorry, Gary Gait.

So what else can you do this weekend? We're here to help.

  • Go to Turning Stone and bet $22 on #22, 22-consecutive times
  • Take the cut-off lax jersey and snapback hat you were going to wear to the Final Four and bro it up at a concert instead
  • Enjoy a weekend where the only stall warnings should be when your barbecue guest tells you to wait 20 minutes after he exits the bathroom
  • Watch a baseball game with all the friends you've stopped talking to since they refused to jump on the lacrosse bandwagon. Losers.
  • Make those same friends see "Crooked Arrows" in select theaters this weekend because you can't stop trying to convert them. IT'S THE FASTEST GAME ON TWO FEET DAMMIT!
  • Go hang out at TGI Friday's with Sid Smith and Cody Jameison. Actually, on second thought ...
  • Buy the Mikey Powell and the Villains Trust album (here) and play it on loop while you watch highlights from the 2004 NCAA Title game.
  • Have a nice barbecue with family and friends, and pour Dinosaur BBQ sauce on EVERYTHING. Meat, potatoes, watermelon, apple pie. EV-ER-Y-THING.
  • Start getting hyped for football and a national championship ... conference championship ... bowl game ... never mind, just start getting hyped for basketball instead. At least Fab and Dion are coming back right? .... Damn.
  • Find Quint Kessenich ... punch him in the face
Give us your best suggestions in the comments or on Twitter with #SULaxMemorialDay
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